A Pondering Post of Success.

Winter Blossoms.

 I have been pondering lately. On and off like, not every day. 

But I am on school holiday at the moment with a lovely heavy bout of bronchitis, with a by-product of laryngitis, and unable to speak to anyone except thinking to myself, and I was therefore pondering the meaning of success. 

 What does success mean to me? And ought I not get some more of it?

Ruffled felt.

I know when I was growing up, in my family it meant earning lots of money, and getting a job that would allow you to do so, and probably also owning a big flash house in the end. Success seemed to be something very measurable in financial figures.
And of course it would entail a great deal of comparing your financial figures to other peoples' little numbers, and feelings of envy, because there are always people with bigger wealth, bigger houses etc.
For some people this works, and it makes them happy. It might even spur them on to get bigger figures.
So I married an apprentice gardener, because I loved him. And I became a stay at home mum, because we really wanted to have children and be a family.
The financial figures stayed very small, and I became extremely successful at budgeting, op-shopping, sewing children's clothes and preserving produce. It kept me very busy, and I never had time for envy. I took pride in the challenges.
My husband was home for family dinners around the table every night, and was never called away on the weekends. Our children learned the value of a dollar and knew when a treat was a treat and were thankful for presents. Our family was a success!

White merino and green silk scarf for a bride.

For a while there I pondered that maybe I should become very well known for what I do, maybe even famous. But seriously, fame isn't all that it is cracked up to be. It is basically having to live up to other peoples' expectations and getting pulled into directions you had not thought you wanted to go in. And then you have to please the audience, or you'll lose the fame. While you are famous, others will experience envy of you. Somehow that is not success in my book either.

Reds and Pinks, merino and silk scarf.

I experience success these days in my morning life as a teacher-aide (or our new name: learning assistants ), when the special-needs child answers a maths question correctly, without counting on his fingers, or when the meek child suddenly speaks up and asks for help. Or when I get a Thank-you-card from the parents who suddenly realise that they have never done so, after I've been working with their wheel-chair bound child for more then 2 years.
Small successes, but a success nevertheless. However immeasurable, as there are no figures possible.

River blues for a blond girl.

I experience success these days in my other life as a textile artist, when I dream up a new idea, scribble it down, perhaps sketch the picture in my head as well. Then I let my hands make it and it turns out just like the picture, sometimes even better! Awesome Success!

My idea of a successful day is one where I have been able to make something, or do just a stage of it, or figured out a new idea and how to get there. Maybe just a little crochet, a bit of stitching, a layer of paper and paint, or worked on a new technique.

 If I have been able in a day to go into that Magical, all Enveloping, (and for me) Mystical and Spiritual state of mind, known as Creative Flow;  then that was a Good day.
That is what success means to me.
And hopefully I'll get the chance again the next day. I'll strive for it over and over.

Forest shades in merino and bronze silk.

So I am pondering that I will simply keep going this way with success and what it means to me.
And see where it will take me.
Because it makes me so darn happy...without measure!
What is your meaning of success?